One week until surgery

So, here I am, one week before surgery after a year of maneuvering.  BTW, did I mention I live in Alaska and am having this done in Arizona?  Just to add a little interest to the whole procedure.  The VA agreed to pay my airfare to Seattle and back, since that's where their doctor offered treatment.  Everything else not directly medical, including lodging and transportation, is on my dime.  However, I didn't have to mortgage my house, and for that I'm grateful.

Over the past few weeks I've developed what I think is tendinitis, which is proving very painful and frustrating.  We've also had weeks of high winds and very cold temperatures, which adds to the pain factor.  I don't think I could walk around the block at this point.  I can't walk without a brace on.  My dorsiflexion is probably down to 5 degrees.  That's important because you need 10 degrees to walk without a limp.  Most steps feel like I'm walking on broken glass.  Last year this time I journalled that most steps felt like I had a rock in my shoe, except the rock was internal.  This past summer I really struggled to walk a mile, and uneven surfaces are murder.  My husband says I'm like a bear now, I can't do inclines at all.  Bumping the ankle or foot lightly on the floor mat of my car, or the door frame, causes excruciating pain and a couple of times I've had to put my head between my knees to keep from passing out.  There just isn't much give in the poor thing at this point and something definitely has to change.

I've done a lot more Internet research and talked to a few more doctors.  I'm feeling gut level positive about this whole plan.  I've also checked out a couple of on-line blogs about external frames.  It's been educational and provided info for more questions I might not have thought to ask.  But I've also scared myself quite badly.  I've come to the conclusion that the folks on those sites are up in the middle of the night pecking away because they're worst case scenarios and they still really need that on-line support.  I believe the folks who've had good to average results are all off living their lives.  So, be forewarned.  They're interesting places to visit, but I think taking it all with a healthy dose of perspective is really important.

I feel as prepared as I can be.  Because there are so few cases, and everyone has an individual experience, everything that happens after the actual surgery is a great black hole of unknowns.  I do know that my doc plans to do the procedure arthroscopically, which is good because we'll avoid the previous scar tissue, healing will be faster, and the chance for infection less.  Also, it will be considered day surgery and I can fly home 48 hours later.  We'll see how that all works out.  Since all we've done so far is e-mail, he won't really know how much housekeeping will be required until he actually gets in there.  The plan is to wear the frame for 8 weeks, and then a walking boot for 8 weeks while the holes in the bone fill in.  I'll be in an SBI Rad frame, which is designed specifically for arthritis patients, and does not have the dreaded midfoot wire that everyone complains is so painful.  Their site has a great video that shows exactly how the frame is installed.  I have to say, it really looks like something the neighbor guys came up with in their garage late one night.

I intellectually understand that I can't expect to judge results for at least a year, and that it may actually be more painful for awhile.  We'll see how well I physically and mentally incorporate that knowledge when the time comes.  I understand that pinsite infections are a concern.  Otherwise, everything is pretty much up in the air.  No one can tell if I'll be able to weight bear while in the frame, or able to tolerate motion.  My plan is certainly to try to flex the ankle as much as I can to avoid it freezing up.  We also have a series of joint injections planned, but since my local VA doesn't allow injections in the ankle, I don't yet know where we're doing those.  I'm really hoping I don't have to jump on a plane to Phoenix every two weeks.

I'm concerned about returning to work.  I'm concerned about the flight home.  But mainly I'm just looking forward to waking up each morning knowing I'm doing something positive instead of just watching it and my quality of life deteriorate.  I'm hoping the tendinitis and my back both enjoy the time off and heal.  And that I don't run out of movies and books!